We are so busy solving crimes right now. our desks are loaded with crimes that we have to try and solve. we will post
updates as we get them.
Thanks.
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June 16th, 2010 UPDATE!!
It has been a while since we post and update of what crimes we stopped recently. honeestly, there are too many piling
up because our network has been downsizing. nearly 25% of our volunteers had to be let go last quarter.its made life tough
for all of us.
I'll skip the thousands of uncool crimes that we stopped and just share with you one of the awesome crimes we stopped
in this update. We worked hard to get this one concqured .
last month (april 12th to be exact), there was a mugging that took place in a city outside of illinois. the victims billfold
was stolen. inside the billfold were four two dollar bills, a drivers license, and family pictures, the stolen goods are valued
at more than 300 dollars so we obviously counldnt' let this mugging scum continue his life of crime. it was up to us to stop
him.
my crime fighting buddy and i boarded an airplane for the city of the mugging. the city has asked to remain anonymous.
upon our arrival, we checked into our hotel room and tuned in to nancy grace for crime updates.we ordered a large pizza with
extra cheese and the delivery guy had an interesting billfold. we gave him a three dollar tip but ask for two dollars back.
sure enough, he paid us in two one dollar bills. knowing that a mugger like that would be too clever to use the 2 dollar bills,
we knew we had our guy,
we called the tip in to the local police but not before we called it in to nancy grace first. they apprehended the suspsect
and looked through his billfold. in it they found the one dollar tip that we gave him, a billfold, and pictures of family
(cleverly replaced with pics of his own family). luckily, justice won.
that's just a small taste of the work weve been doing over the last couple of months. we look forward to stopping more
crimes but were also starting to get too good at it. crime rates have gone down a lot since we started working. its almost
like were putting ouurselves out of busisness!!!
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Today, June 2010 UPDATE!!
we are about to open up a store where we will sell gift certificates. buy one and you can give the gift of stopped crime
this holiday season!
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UPDATE!
We have been going over some documents regarding the Samson vandalism case. As you all know, we had reached a dead end.
Instead of giving up we took a more analytical look at the details and documents we had access to. We have finally made some
major breakthroughs.
First of all, we noticed that Gregory Samson had a dispute with his neighbor in the month pior. It was about how Samson
always had loud movies playing. We believe that the answer to this case lies in that detail.
Our theory is this: Gregory was watching Juno very loudly on that evening. His neihgbor, Dillon Whineman, was angered
over the loudness (according to the documents). I really believe that Whineman was upset about not being invited over to view
the feature film.
Moving on, Mr. Whinemen moved forward with a plan to vandalize Samson's car. His plan was very detailed and took weeks
of planning. Finally, he executed.
On the morning of May 18th, Whineman was heading out to his car. He needed some energizing beverages to keep him awake
after a long gaming and movie session. Much to his surprise, there was a splatter of white paint on the hood of his hot red
Mazda Miata. He was shocked and called the proper authorities to report the vandalism. Since they wouldn't do anything, he
called us.
We had wild theories but I think we finally cracked this case. We will relay this message to Samson's local police station
on the next available business day.
It looks like we have stopped this vandalizer from splashing his white paint on anyone else's car.
Crime STOPPED!
